Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
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do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
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I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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