dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
it's great music for shaving your balls
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
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