Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Four minutes until I can fart!
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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