Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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