I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
