I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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