Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
How's work?
Spinning.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
