Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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