Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
