I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize