You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
