people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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