you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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