I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
