And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
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Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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