69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
