i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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