I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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