i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
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