he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
