Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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