we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
