I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
