forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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