Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
