Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
