woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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