My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
