So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
