if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
