i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
