He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Randomize