You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
