at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Ladies don't puke and tell
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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