dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Randomize
