I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
