apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
