i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Everclear isn't food dammit
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
