puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Randomize
