Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
