Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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