that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
