I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
