C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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