Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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