my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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