Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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