I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
