A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
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