my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
