so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You were trust falling into bushes
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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