You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
