wanna go halves on a baby?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
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We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
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