Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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