if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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