Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
