Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
