Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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