We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
