He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
