well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
