We named our party play list daddy issues
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
