i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You're like the curious george of whores
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
