What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
